wade, oh wade. how gabe and i envy you, with your ultrasupercool piece of technology. wow man. that iphone is totally awesome. in marketing class, gabe and i learned about people like you. you're part of a class of people known as "early adopters." this rather ho-hum term (you may mentally replace it with "trend setters" from here on out, mr. wisdom) is defined thusly:
"an early adopter is a person who embraces new technology before most other people do. early adopters tend to buy or try out new hardware items and programs, and new versions of existing programs, sooner than most of their peers." (courtesy whatis.com)
hmm. when did you receive that iphone, wade? was it when that device still ran in the $499 dollar range? what do iphones retail for now, anyway? hasn't the price dropped to about, oh... $299? what value did you derive from that extra $200? adjusted for inflation, isn't that about $250?
oh, now we understand. you couldn't stand to go one more day living without an iphone, not because of its revolutionary interface, nor its convenient and seamless melding of cellular telephone with 8-gig mp3 player. no sir. you had to have your iphone because of the... "coolness factor."
at one point during the trip, gabe and i decided that it was about time to start making fun of wade for his iphone. the only thing less cool than not having an iphone is having an iphone and not being able to keep your damn hands off of it for one goddamn minute. "oh, hey guys, did you hear about xyz important news topic? no? oh, sorry, i just read it on my iphone." quoth the wade. after a bit of preliminary ribbing, wade starting espousing the virtues of being an early adopter, namely, that early adopters alone get to enjoy (and pay extra for) "the coolness factor." let the record show, those actual words ("those actual words" being "the coolness factor") passed wade's brain-to-mouth censorship neurons. after a stunned silence at such a bombastic proclamation from our perfectly coiffed companion, gabe and i could control ourselves no longer. the floodgates had opened. we chuckled heartily and made revelry at wade's expense. this guy. what kind of tool says stuff like "coolness factor?" who does he think he is, malcom gladwell or something? has our friend become chuck klosterman in brooks brothers and rainbows? jeesus.
needless to say, "coolness factor" was one of the highlights of an otherwise monotonous drive through god knows where.
Showing posts with label provisional. Show all posts
Showing posts with label provisional. Show all posts
5.26.2008
provisional post 4: same girl
one song that has kept us going throughout the drive, and certainly deserves its own post, is the r. kelly/usher song "same girl." the lyrical genius on display here is enormous. the ballad tells an awesome story, and it has a great hook. we have played this song, no lie, at least once every day we've been on the road. other songs, such as usher's new (and sure to be number one single upon its release) "what's a man to do," and some linkin park songs have been played pretty heavily as well, but none has the meaning for us that we ascribe to "same girl."
i was going to post the lyrics, but that would take a little longer than i have this morning. so, without further ado, here's the video. let it be said that i think the video is a little far fetched, while the song portrays a more likely scenario. you'll see what i mean after you watch it.
i was going to post the lyrics, but that would take a little longer than i have this morning. so, without further ado, here's the video. let it be said that i think the video is a little far fetched, while the song portrays a more likely scenario. you'll see what i mean after you watch it.
watched it? my issues with the video vs. the song basically can be summed up by saying that there's no effing way that two twins both went to georgia tech, live together on peachtree, work for tbs, share a car, have a kid, have a beauty mark on the left side of their mouths, and would lie about having a phone turned off. it's just too much. if it was actually the same girl, all these would be plausible. twins? come on now. that being said, my issues with the video don't change the fact that the song itself is amazing.
5.25.2008
provisional post 3: wade's idiosyncracies
this is wade.
wade
wade has idiosyncracies. these include (but are certainly not limited to):
wadewade has idiosyncracies. these include (but are certainly not limited to):
- his inability to drive
- his perfectionism when it comes to hair
- his penchant for hiding behind things in pictures
- his inability to take anything in pill form
first, i'll address his inability to drive as it pertains to our current situation on the road. gabe and i knew what we were getting into. we would have to split driving during the trip while wade offered moral support from the passengers seat. i think what we didn't realize was how DAMN LONG some of these drives would be. having a third guy to drive would have been a good thing - evidenced by the forthcoming "things we never heard wade say on this trip," list.
"no need to sleep in the car in nevada, boys, i'll take this one on through the night!"
"so jeff, that crippling narcolepsy of yours seems to be giving you trouble. i'll take the wheel if you need it."
"guys - you just sit back and enjoy the scenery on ca-1. i'll drive these treacherous turns butting right up on cliff sides."
wade's perfect hair really has no interesting components to it, aside from its perfect part (on the right side of his head) and the luxurious and unchanging way his hair falls on his forehead.
wade's cat-like sense of curiousity is on full display in some of our state sign pictures. he hides behind poles, peering out at the camera like a sly siamese. this is more endearing than anything else.
finally, wade can't take anything in pill form. the last time he attempted to take a pill was in yemen, and that was out of utter necessity. he describes the experience thusly: "it sucked." he gets by with nose spray, dayquil, and pepto bismol.
all these things aside, wade is really a great person. he's helped me through some particularly difficult times. he's also the most gracious of the group in terms of thanking our hosts and interacting with people in general, always asking "how are you today," of the convenience store and restaurant cashiers, striking up conversations with random folks at bars in wyoming (the nature of which was a bit sinister, but we'll forget that for now), and offering consoling to sam when his mom had to have her thumb tip cut off. the trip, and life in general, would definitely suck without wade around. and ladies - he's available.
"no need to sleep in the car in nevada, boys, i'll take this one on through the night!"
"so jeff, that crippling narcolepsy of yours seems to be giving you trouble. i'll take the wheel if you need it."
"guys - you just sit back and enjoy the scenery on ca-1. i'll drive these treacherous turns butting right up on cliff sides."
wade's perfect hair really has no interesting components to it, aside from its perfect part (on the right side of his head) and the luxurious and unchanging way his hair falls on his forehead.
wade's cat-like sense of curiousity is on full display in some of our state sign pictures. he hides behind poles, peering out at the camera like a sly siamese. this is more endearing than anything else.
finally, wade can't take anything in pill form. the last time he attempted to take a pill was in yemen, and that was out of utter necessity. he describes the experience thusly: "it sucked." he gets by with nose spray, dayquil, and pepto bismol.
all these things aside, wade is really a great person. he's helped me through some particularly difficult times. he's also the most gracious of the group in terms of thanking our hosts and interacting with people in general, always asking "how are you today," of the convenience store and restaurant cashiers, striking up conversations with random folks at bars in wyoming (the nature of which was a bit sinister, but we'll forget that for now), and offering consoling to sam when his mom had to have her thumb tip cut off. the trip, and life in general, would definitely suck without wade around. and ladies - he's available.
5.22.2008
provisional post 2: game fuel
once upon a time, mountain dew's marketing geniuses decided to introduce a new flavor in conjunction with the release of halo 3. this flavor was denoted "game fuel," and it proclaimed to give gamers everywhere that burst of cherry citrus flavor that would propel them past scarab tanks and aid them in destroying the covenant. it also featured 6mg of caffeine per fluid ounce, which translates to 72mg per can or 120mg per bottle. aside from its energy boosting properties, its flavor was truly divine.
wade, gabe and i all had tasted game fuel at many points prior to this trip. whether we were playing halo, mixing it with vodka (ok, that was just me), or simply enjoying a football game, game fuel was a great beverage to have on hand. its delectable taste, with subtle notes of oak and melon rind, is unmatchable by any soda ever. sadly, as gimmicky promotional sodas tend to do, game fuel stopped being manufactured. we had tasted the nectar of the gods, and then mountain dew (in their infinite wisdom) took away that which we so desperately craved.
measures were taken to ensure that game fuel would be with us on the road trip - wade and gabe each bought a 12-pack during the last week of game fuel's limited run, of which six cans were saved. a decision was made - game fuel was only to be drunk on the coast. we drank the first three at navarre beach. after surviving treacherous temperatures in the car between the grand canyon and los angeles, we got cups of ice at a restaurant at the santa monica pier and quaffed the last game fuel that may ever touch our lips.
if you're interested in joining our crusade to get game fuel back on the market, leave a comment. master chief out.
update: WE HAVE FOUND GAME FUEL! in the carlile store, near devil's tower, sat four unopened 12-packs of the delicious caffeinated beverage. our game fuel count stands at 47 - i had one when i first started driving.
wade, gabe and i all had tasted game fuel at many points prior to this trip. whether we were playing halo, mixing it with vodka (ok, that was just me), or simply enjoying a football game, game fuel was a great beverage to have on hand. its delectable taste, with subtle notes of oak and melon rind, is unmatchable by any soda ever. sadly, as gimmicky promotional sodas tend to do, game fuel stopped being manufactured. we had tasted the nectar of the gods, and then mountain dew (in their infinite wisdom) took away that which we so desperately craved.
measures were taken to ensure that game fuel would be with us on the road trip - wade and gabe each bought a 12-pack during the last week of game fuel's limited run, of which six cans were saved. a decision was made - game fuel was only to be drunk on the coast. we drank the first three at navarre beach. after surviving treacherous temperatures in the car between the grand canyon and los angeles, we got cups of ice at a restaurant at the santa monica pier and quaffed the last game fuel that may ever touch our lips.
if you're interested in joining our crusade to get game fuel back on the market, leave a comment. master chief out.
update: WE HAVE FOUND GAME FUEL! in the carlile store, near devil's tower, sat four unopened 12-packs of the delicious caffeinated beverage. our game fuel count stands at 47 - i had one when i first started driving.
delicious
5.20.2008
provisional post 1: lochmiel and rockmiel
the first in what portends to be a series of provisional posts, providing some insight into the inside jokes that may pop up in los blogos from time to time.
along with us on this trip are two plastic owl decoys. their names are lochmiel and rockmiel. this is their story.
during high school and briefly during college, wade "i'll ease your mind, girl" wisdom worked at b. merrill's, a columbus eatery of dubious repute. it's probably a fine restaurant, but the way wade describes it, you'd think they served nothing but shit sandwiches. outside this purveyor of potables and edibles had once stood a large tree. upon this tree, an owl stood watch, ironically guarding the tree from birds who stood to soil b. merrill's guests' cars with their duochromatic excrements. the tree was cut down at one point, but the owl remained. it sat at a pointless post on the front porch. wade, the conniving young fellow that he was, took it upon himself to free this owl from its undoubtedly unwanted servitude. success came easily.
one revelrous night, gabe "man of the house" shaukat's roommate rebecca took it upon herself to christen the owl "lochmiel." despite wade's resistance to the idea, the name stuck.
rockmiel's story is decidedly less interesting, so i'll summarize. gabe found another owl decoy in his backyard, and he named him "rockmiel," mainly because it rhymed with lochmiel.
at the last minute before we departed from athens, loch- and rockmiel were unanimously voted our trip mascots. they share the back seat with some granola bars, an assortment of tattered magazines, and a jack daniels bottle full of change.
from l to r: rockmiel, lochmiel, game fuel
here's to the owls.
along with us on this trip are two plastic owl decoys. their names are lochmiel and rockmiel. this is their story.
during high school and briefly during college, wade "i'll ease your mind, girl" wisdom worked at b. merrill's, a columbus eatery of dubious repute. it's probably a fine restaurant, but the way wade describes it, you'd think they served nothing but shit sandwiches. outside this purveyor of potables and edibles had once stood a large tree. upon this tree, an owl stood watch, ironically guarding the tree from birds who stood to soil b. merrill's guests' cars with their duochromatic excrements. the tree was cut down at one point, but the owl remained. it sat at a pointless post on the front porch. wade, the conniving young fellow that he was, took it upon himself to free this owl from its undoubtedly unwanted servitude. success came easily.
one revelrous night, gabe "man of the house" shaukat's roommate rebecca took it upon herself to christen the owl "lochmiel." despite wade's resistance to the idea, the name stuck.
rockmiel's story is decidedly less interesting, so i'll summarize. gabe found another owl decoy in his backyard, and he named him "rockmiel," mainly because it rhymed with lochmiel.
at the last minute before we departed from athens, loch- and rockmiel were unanimously voted our trip mascots. they share the back seat with some granola bars, an assortment of tattered magazines, and a jack daniels bottle full of change.
from l to r: rockmiel, lochmiel, game fuel
here's to the owls.
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