wade, oh wade. how gabe and i envy you, with your ultrasupercool piece of technology. wow man. that iphone is totally awesome. in marketing class, gabe and i learned about people like you. you're part of a class of people known as "early adopters." this rather ho-hum term (you may mentally replace it with "trend setters" from here on out, mr. wisdom) is defined thusly:
"an early adopter is a person who embraces new technology before most other people do. early adopters tend to buy or try out new hardware items and programs, and new versions of existing programs, sooner than most of their peers." (courtesy whatis.com)
hmm. when did you receive that iphone, wade? was it when that device still ran in the $499 dollar range? what do iphones retail for now, anyway? hasn't the price dropped to about, oh... $299? what value did you derive from that extra $200? adjusted for inflation, isn't that about $250?
oh, now we understand. you couldn't stand to go one more day living without an iphone, not because of its revolutionary interface, nor its convenient and seamless melding of cellular telephone with 8-gig mp3 player. no sir. you had to have your iphone because of the... "coolness factor."
at one point during the trip, gabe and i decided that it was about time to start making fun of wade for his iphone. the only thing less cool than not having an iphone is having an iphone and not being able to keep your damn hands off of it for one goddamn minute. "oh, hey guys, did you hear about xyz important news topic? no? oh, sorry, i just read it on my iphone." quoth the wade. after a bit of preliminary ribbing, wade starting espousing the virtues of being an early adopter, namely, that early adopters alone get to enjoy (and pay extra for) "the coolness factor." let the record show, those actual words ("those actual words" being "the coolness factor") passed wade's brain-to-mouth censorship neurons. after a stunned silence at such a bombastic proclamation from our perfectly coiffed companion, gabe and i could control ourselves no longer. the floodgates had opened. we chuckled heartily and made revelry at wade's expense. this guy. what kind of tool says stuff like "coolness factor?" who does he think he is, malcom gladwell or something? has our friend become chuck klosterman in brooks brothers and rainbows? jeesus.
needless to say, "coolness factor" was one of the highlights of an otherwise monotonous drive through god knows where.
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let it be known that this article is a hit piece that deals very little in reality.
i received the iphone as a gift, and at that point the highest end model was at a 399 price point. so really, being an early adopter cost me $0, which, adjusted for inflation is $0.
also, i never said that i possessed the "coolness factor". rather, i was describing the condition by which people become early adopters and their reasons for doing so.
as usual though, my words were taken out of context and subjected to much hyper-bowl.
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